Thursday, December 30, 2004

Preppy boy


Aizay has conducted a survey, and has discovered that 3 out of his 4 limbs are tasty.

Please note especially his new ensemble which consists of an argyle sweater vest (he also has a blue argyle sweater vest), a button-down shirt, and khaki pants. We think he looks like an '80's-teen-movie villain. Think Revenge of the Nerds, or Back to the Future. Posted by Hello

Sunday, December 26, 2004

"I think I can see my house from up here..."


Aiden is diggin' on his new high chair (thanks, Fishbeins!). What with one thing and another (didn't want to set it up in old apartment, not quite ready for sitting up, moving madness, unpacking madness, etc.), we've been holding off with the high chair until now.

Now I wish we'd done it sooner. He seemed much happier than he'd been lately in his floor-level chair. So happy, in fact, that he is doing his impression of Winston Churchill in a really good mood. Posted by Hello

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas!


"Aw, geez, why are they always flashing that thing in my eyes? And when I've just woken up, too. What fresh hell are they going to visit upon me today?"


"That guy who's always around (I think his name is Daddy) has the black-thing-that-flashes-in-my-eyes in front of his face again. Ho, hum, just another day..."


That's where you'd be wrong, Aizay. It's baby's first Christmas! Says so right on this here ornament.


"Holy smokes, is that tree radioactive or something? Should we be this close?"


"Okay, I think I get how this works. Santa comes and drops off all these tightly wrapped things called presents, which are really hard to get into unless you're at least 1 year old. Then every sits around a Christmas tree which is decorated so gaudily that to look at it is to risk burning out your retinas. Then everyone unwraps the presents, after which we all eat the wrapping paper."


"A new sweater. Great. It's not as cool as Mommy's velutinous purple housedress, however. "


"Since Daddy is constantly leaving the lights on in the car and having to call AAA, his present will be very useful. His beard's getting out of control, though...let's hope he finds the box that contains his beard trimmer soon."


"Daddy thinks Boobah might be the scariest show ever to grace public television...but he confesses that it is fascinating to watch. Let's hope it doesn't warp my mind..."


"As you can tell from Mommy's expression, she really needs this book so she can get some sleep. I, however, am more interested in coating it with saliva."


"Hot damn, I've been hoping for some of this! It burns, I tell ya."


Friday, December 24, 2004

Grandma's a demanding woman.


Once again, Grandma insisted we get a picture of Aizay smiling. Who could blame her, right? Posted by Hello

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Vroom, Vroom, Snore


I thank sweet baby Jesus for the automobile. I know that no matter how loudly or long he cries, I can always take him for a ride and he will stop. What did parents do in the days before wheeled transport? Posted by Hello

Monday, December 20, 2004

Graphic Design of the Living Dead


Aiden has been growing. This means we need a new carseat. We were considering purchasing the Britax Roundabout...until we ran across the illustration on the left. From the looks of things, the Britax Roundabout is only suitable for baby vampires. Little Nosferatu, here, is happily contemplating how he will suck the lifeblood from the other children on the playground at PS 666. By contrast, we have baby Aiden, angelic in every respect (except for the contents of his diaper, and the slight red glow in his eyes).

I guess we'll not purchase the Bitrax Roundabout until we discover for sure that our boy is a member of the undead. Posted by Hello

Thursday, December 16, 2004

It's a living.


Aiden is a hard worker. A month ago, I wrote of Aiden's job as a research guinea pig. Here are some pictures I took of him at work this week. In the first picture, Aiden and I are sitting in the soundproof booth watching Courtney say, "AAAaaah! EEEEeee!" repeatedly. Aiden didn't seem bothered by her cold, dead eyes. She's not generally that...zombie-like.


In the next picture, Aiden is playing with his girlfriend Britton. Last time he was pretty flirtatious but this time he was a bit tired so he wasn't as talkative. That's okay...can't let the ladies think they've got you figured out or they lose interest. Posted by Hello

Monday, December 13, 2004

Moving Day


The move went very well yesterday. Aiden is in his new house! We tried explaining to him that it's not really his house, that the bank owns it, but he wouldn't listen.

Shown here are Casey and Cory, friends from work who I hired to do the heavy lifting. Although we got everything moved in 5 and a half hours, they complained the whole time about how I wasn't doing anything. But in the end Aiden told 'em to shut their pie holes and get back to work, or he'd turn them over to immigra├žion. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, December 08, 2004


Little known fact: babies come with detachable feet.

On a side note, I've been sick with a stomach bug for the last 24 hours, so I have been carefully keeping away from Aiden (a little spit-up is tolerable...projectile vomiting is less so). We are all fervently hopeful that Aiden did not share my germs. But what are the chances? Everyone who reads this: send immune-boosting thoughts.

Monday, December 06, 2004


You are looking at a quantum leap in baby care technology. It's called ... uh ... it's called that thing I found misplaced in the stationery and notecards section of Target. Aim this state-of-the-art device at your baby's eyes, and he will instantly become docile and obey your every command. He may also try to eat it, which should be prevented because you will no longer be able to subdue your baby.

Sunday, December 05, 2004


Here you go, Diane. Posted by Hello

Saturday, December 04, 2004


Aiden's all dressed up for skating. He's not too good with backward skating yet, but he's got the snowplow method of stopping nailed. Thanks, Auntie Chuckles, for the fine outfit, which elicited quite a few "oh, how cutes" from the mommies and grandmas at the mall.

Aiden, by the way, has recovered from his cold this week, and has also reverted to his former pleasant self after three weeks of caterwauling and carrying on (and I will now knock on some wood so that whatever god is in charge of making babies cry will keep her attention focused on some other family). His snot and drool production has also backed off to a more manageable level, to the point where it's possible for us to swim up to the ceiling and get a quick breath of fresh air every once in a while.Posted by Hello

Thursday, December 02, 2004


Aiden has confided in us his desire to become a great jazz hornplayer. Here he is practicing the face he'll use when he's layin' down some hot licks on a wild sliphorn down at the Blue Note. Posted by Hello

Sunday, November 28, 2004


I've noticed that something like 90 percent of the photos on this site are taken in our apartment. We don't want you to get the idea that we treat him like a shut-in. So, we got dressed, went down to the parking lot, took this picture, and then went back inside. Note to self: next time, remember the sunscreen. Posted by Hello

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Aiden speaks

this is an audio post - click to play

Aiden is practicing what he's to say during Grace at Thanksgiving dinner. I shall translate:
"Thank you for this feast you lay before us. Well, actually, thanks for the ingredients that went into the feast. And thanks for giving my mom the ability to put the ingredients together into this feast. Oh, and thanks for allowing dad to be able to go the store at the last minute to get some wine, which I'm sure I'll be getting a taste of soon enough. Oh, and thanks for smiting my enemies. Peace, out."


Happy Thanksgiving!


It seems to be a function of Aiden's autonomic nervous system to roll over and then become unhappy about it. Oh, at first, he's fine. But after a few minutes of peering about he becomes angry. I always ask him: if you're so upset, why don't you just roll back the other way? I've seen you do it! The answer seems to involve a lot of drool and bitter complaint. Posted by Hello

Sunday, November 21, 2004

New: visitor polls!

In our never-ending quest for information, we at Axetler.blogspot.com have decided to start collecting info from you, our visitors. Thus, we inaugurate the first of our visitor polls--the Teething poll!

We've noticed that our son is constantly drooling. The reason we noticed is because we almost drowned. It's way too early for teething, according to the books, but our son seems so brilliant in other ways that perhaps his overachieving extends to his toothbuds as well. So please take a moment to take our poll, located on the right side of the page in the white box. We'll leave each poll up for at least a week.

Thanks for your help!

It's just bliss (except when it's not),


You wouldn't know it from this picture, but our life with Aiden has been less than trouble-free for about two weeks now. He's had a cold, a bout with the crabapple two-step, and a tendency to wake up at night and require comforting. On Friday, Aiden and Christine went to visit the doctor, but there was nothing they could do. Last night I made a 2 a.m. trip to the drug store to procure some Vics baby rub because his nose sounded like he was sucking the last of a milkshake through a swizzle straw. And finally, he constantly coats us with a fine cracked-glaze of spit-up and drool. We're a bit more tired than we've been so far. In other words, he's finally behaving like a real baby instead of a little angel. Posted by Hello

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Baby's first paycheck


One thing we're learning: it's important for baby to contribute to the family's revenue stream. Putting your child to work early can mean the difference between a 19" Broksonic and a 40" plasma. So, we told Aiden to get out there and get a job.

Fortunately, in a university town there is no shortage of scientists willing to pay big money to babies so they can be poked and prodded. Aiden's enrolled in a study that is trying to sort out how babies learn language. Once a month he goes in and looks at videos of a woman going "Aaaaah!" and "Eeee!" while he sits on my lap and we're videotaped. I wear blackout glasses so I can't influence his responses. That doesn't stop me from giggling at the sounds of the video and Aiden's conversation with it.

Then, he talks to a researcher for a while (who, by the way, was very surprised that a three-month old could talk so much). It turns out that Aiden is something of a flirt.

Finally, another person put some earplugs attached to a machine into his ears to measure the mobility of his eardrum. For this, Aiden receives $20, and over the course of the study will end up a millionaire by age 4,167.Posted by Hello

Monday, November 15, 2004


Aiden's hangin' out in his union suit. This pillow-and couch arrangement makes the perfect seat for him. Posted by Hello

Thursday, November 11, 2004


Aiden isn't picky, that's for sure. This is a dramatic reconstruction of an earlier event, during which, as Christine shifted Aiden to her shoulder for burping he fastened onto her chin.  Posted by Hello

Monday, November 08, 2004

The new house



Well, not new. Built in 1964, this ranch house with nearly 1200 square feet is well maintained...right down to it's original furnace. That's the worst of it (and that furnace looks really clean and well-maintained too, so maybe it'll last a bit longer). Can you imagine a new furnace lasting 40 years?

The building is sound, there are no leaks, the roof's been reshingled and the sheathing is in great shape, as is the foundation. So, I think it's safe to go inside after we park the car in the attached garage.

Let's go inside.



It's not huge, but it's a living room. By the way the furniture isn't ours. That goes with the owner.

Behind us is the hallway, leading to the bedrooms.



This crazy looking picture shows the 2 bedrooms in the front of the house, the bedroom in the back, and the bathroom. Aiden's room is on the left. Ours is on the right.

Back up the hallway, to the kitchen.



There's an icemaker in that fridge. Yessir, we're moving on up to that dee-lux apartment in the sky.

Turn around, and there's a breakfast nook.



Here is nearly the only thing I would change about the house itself...I'd knock a hole in the wall into the living room. Maybe a passthrough. Too bad that's a bearing wall, or I might tackle it myself.

Straight ahead and to the left is a door to the backyard.



I want to make some changes here...block out some of the neighbors a bit with a hedge of some sort. We'll see. Depends on how well that furnace treats us.

Behind us is a stairway leading into blackness. Wonder where it'll take us!



Here's a quick quiz. Are Christine and Aiden in...

A) ...the forest, enjoying nature in all it's splendor? Or,
B) ...the basement, enjoying tasteful wallpaper in all it's splendor?

If you said A, well who could blame you. So lifelike! Be careful, Christine! Deer are wild animals, and should be treated with respect.

Whew! That was close. Let's turn around to look at the rest of the basement.



Off to the right are some unfinished rooms containing the washer and dryer, and that vintage (but well-kept) furnace that's preying on my mind a bit. I didn't take a picture of that, because it makes me nervous.

That's it. The tour is done! Closing is December 7, so I guess we'd better start packing. Anyone want to help us move?