Monday, December 06, 2004


You are looking at a quantum leap in baby care technology. It's called ... uh ... it's called that thing I found misplaced in the stationery and notecards section of Target. Aim this state-of-the-art device at your baby's eyes, and he will instantly become docile and obey your every command. He may also try to eat it, which should be prevented because you will no longer be able to subdue your baby.

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