Thursday, December 30, 2004

Preppy boy


Aizay has conducted a survey, and has discovered that 3 out of his 4 limbs are tasty.

Please note especially his new ensemble which consists of an argyle sweater vest (he also has a blue argyle sweater vest), a button-down shirt, and khaki pants. We think he looks like an '80's-teen-movie villain. Think Revenge of the Nerds, or Back to the Future. Posted by Hello

Sunday, December 26, 2004

"I think I can see my house from up here..."


Aiden is diggin' on his new high chair (thanks, Fishbeins!). What with one thing and another (didn't want to set it up in old apartment, not quite ready for sitting up, moving madness, unpacking madness, etc.), we've been holding off with the high chair until now.

Now I wish we'd done it sooner. He seemed much happier than he'd been lately in his floor-level chair. So happy, in fact, that he is doing his impression of Winston Churchill in a really good mood. Posted by Hello

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas!


"Aw, geez, why are they always flashing that thing in my eyes? And when I've just woken up, too. What fresh hell are they going to visit upon me today?"


"That guy who's always around (I think his name is Daddy) has the black-thing-that-flashes-in-my-eyes in front of his face again. Ho, hum, just another day..."


That's where you'd be wrong, Aizay. It's baby's first Christmas! Says so right on this here ornament.


"Holy smokes, is that tree radioactive or something? Should we be this close?"


"Okay, I think I get how this works. Santa comes and drops off all these tightly wrapped things called presents, which are really hard to get into unless you're at least 1 year old. Then every sits around a Christmas tree which is decorated so gaudily that to look at it is to risk burning out your retinas. Then everyone unwraps the presents, after which we all eat the wrapping paper."


"A new sweater. Great. It's not as cool as Mommy's velutinous purple housedress, however. "


"Since Daddy is constantly leaving the lights on in the car and having to call AAA, his present will be very useful. His beard's getting out of control, though...let's hope he finds the box that contains his beard trimmer soon."


"Daddy thinks Boobah might be the scariest show ever to grace public television...but he confesses that it is fascinating to watch. Let's hope it doesn't warp my mind..."


"As you can tell from Mommy's expression, she really needs this book so she can get some sleep. I, however, am more interested in coating it with saliva."


"Hot damn, I've been hoping for some of this! It burns, I tell ya."


Friday, December 24, 2004

Grandma's a demanding woman.


Once again, Grandma insisted we get a picture of Aizay smiling. Who could blame her, right? Posted by Hello

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Vroom, Vroom, Snore


I thank sweet baby Jesus for the automobile. I know that no matter how loudly or long he cries, I can always take him for a ride and he will stop. What did parents do in the days before wheeled transport? Posted by Hello

Monday, December 20, 2004

Graphic Design of the Living Dead


Aiden has been growing. This means we need a new carseat. We were considering purchasing the Britax Roundabout...until we ran across the illustration on the left. From the looks of things, the Britax Roundabout is only suitable for baby vampires. Little Nosferatu, here, is happily contemplating how he will suck the lifeblood from the other children on the playground at PS 666. By contrast, we have baby Aiden, angelic in every respect (except for the contents of his diaper, and the slight red glow in his eyes).

I guess we'll not purchase the Bitrax Roundabout until we discover for sure that our boy is a member of the undead. Posted by Hello

Thursday, December 16, 2004

It's a living.


Aiden is a hard worker. A month ago, I wrote of Aiden's job as a research guinea pig. Here are some pictures I took of him at work this week. In the first picture, Aiden and I are sitting in the soundproof booth watching Courtney say, "AAAaaah! EEEEeee!" repeatedly. Aiden didn't seem bothered by her cold, dead eyes. She's not generally that...zombie-like.


In the next picture, Aiden is playing with his girlfriend Britton. Last time he was pretty flirtatious but this time he was a bit tired so he wasn't as talkative. That's okay...can't let the ladies think they've got you figured out or they lose interest. Posted by Hello

Monday, December 13, 2004

Moving Day


The move went very well yesterday. Aiden is in his new house! We tried explaining to him that it's not really his house, that the bank owns it, but he wouldn't listen.

Shown here are Casey and Cory, friends from work who I hired to do the heavy lifting. Although we got everything moved in 5 and a half hours, they complained the whole time about how I wasn't doing anything. But in the end Aiden told 'em to shut their pie holes and get back to work, or he'd turn them over to immigra├žion. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, December 08, 2004


Little known fact: babies come with detachable feet.

On a side note, I've been sick with a stomach bug for the last 24 hours, so I have been carefully keeping away from Aiden (a little spit-up is tolerable...projectile vomiting is less so). We are all fervently hopeful that Aiden did not share my germs. But what are the chances? Everyone who reads this: send immune-boosting thoughts.

Monday, December 06, 2004


You are looking at a quantum leap in baby care technology. It's called ... uh ... it's called that thing I found misplaced in the stationery and notecards section of Target. Aim this state-of-the-art device at your baby's eyes, and he will instantly become docile and obey your every command. He may also try to eat it, which should be prevented because you will no longer be able to subdue your baby.

Sunday, December 05, 2004


Here you go, Diane. Posted by Hello

Saturday, December 04, 2004


Aiden's all dressed up for skating. He's not too good with backward skating yet, but he's got the snowplow method of stopping nailed. Thanks, Auntie Chuckles, for the fine outfit, which elicited quite a few "oh, how cutes" from the mommies and grandmas at the mall.

Aiden, by the way, has recovered from his cold this week, and has also reverted to his former pleasant self after three weeks of caterwauling and carrying on (and I will now knock on some wood so that whatever god is in charge of making babies cry will keep her attention focused on some other family). His snot and drool production has also backed off to a more manageable level, to the point where it's possible for us to swim up to the ceiling and get a quick breath of fresh air every once in a while.Posted by Hello

Thursday, December 02, 2004


Aiden has confided in us his desire to become a great jazz hornplayer. Here he is practicing the face he'll use when he's layin' down some hot licks on a wild sliphorn down at the Blue Note. Posted by Hello