Monday, February 21, 2005


Our top story tonight, a daring jailbreak at the Union Road Minimum Security Facility. We have exclusive amazing security camera footage showing the breakout in progress. Let's watch.

Here we see prisoner Aizay, as he examined the 6-inch tall barrier that prison architects thought would prevent the escape of any 6-month old prisoner. Investigators determined that the guard was at this point engaged in not doing the dishes, and didn't see the prisoner make a break for it.

The desparate prisoner then began to scale the wall, while the guard was busy not doing the laundry.

Teetering dangerously at the top of the precipice, the prisoner began to contemplate the risk he was taking. The guard, meanwhile, claimed he was preoccupied with his important duties--surfing ebay for a headboard for his bed.

As he sat uncertainly at the top of the security barrier, Aizay considered what would be his fate should he make a single misstep. But when Prisoner Aizay felt more secure, he powered forward in a desparate bid for freedom.

Disaster! The prisoner lost his footing and fell down the other side of the wall, plummeting six inches to his mild annoyance. At this point, the guard realized that something was amiss, and began searching his security screens for the missing prisoner.

But it was too late. At last, the prisoner was past the barrier, and under cover of...erm, lightness, made his way to freedom.

Fortunately, the prisoner was subsequently recaptured after a short search of the surrounding area, and was returned to his cell. Prison officials vow to double their security efforts to prevent future escapes. The guard has been placed on administrative leave, pending the outcome of the investigation.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Could that be any funnier? You have us all laughing. Good for you Aiden. Keep pushing the envelope. 

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