Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Election officials: this means nothing

The votes are still rolling in, and though the voting has been marred by a bit of (perhaps unintentional) ballot stuffing--which officials are "pretty sure" they've accounted for in the exit polls--election officials are already hailing this as a victory for democracy. Indeed, the public seems to be vocally supportive of the effort.

Exit polls show voters are favoring Roselyn, Beatrix and Dorothea as the front runners, with Coraline, Violet, Eloise and Iris bringing up the rear. As the front-runner, however, Roselyn risks being disqualified as rising in popularity too quickly as reckoned by statistical analysis conducted by election commissioner Christine Etler.

"We are not opposed to Roselyn in principle. However, it would be unwise to choose a name that is becoming too popular and risk undermining the child's uniqueness," she explained at a raucous press conference today.

Aizay Etler, the incumbent youngest child of the Etler family, was seen flanked by his beaming parents, his hands clasped above his head in victory. "We asked the people, and they responded," he said. "Whether we listen to them is beside the point. At least we asked, right?"

Election watchdog groups say that while they wait for officials to declare a winner, they are not hopeful for a fair outcome. "These people are not interested in the will of the people," said one observer, who asked not to be identified for fear of reprisal.


Marj said...

You guys are hysterical!

Marj said...

I thought you might name the baby "Sophie"......

Becca said...

Peter really likes the name Eloise (though I don't think he voted.) Can we steal your rejected names? Or do you hold all in reserve for future children? Or do you think we're lame for not having a good list and should stuff it and do our homework? You guys did a good job coming up with names, we don't have so many on our list (yet)-- then again if it's a boy, Eloise would sound a little odd, no?

Anonymous said...


I'm with Peter, I really like Eloise too, but I'm hoping Beatrix wins out.
Aizay needs a sister he can nickname Bzay ;)