Sunday, December 27, 2009

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Coraline is learning the alphabet

You want accurate?  Tough.  You'll have to settle for cute.

Friday, December 18, 2009

My five year old is a freak.

And I mean that in a good way. By the way I had to think about the middle was too hard.
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

You don't know the power of the dark side

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Wednesday, December 09, 2009

More family photos

Aizay learns a new word!

First a little background: Aizay calls me a scientist but is also confused that I work in a hospital and see "patients". Most of them are actually "research patients"...Yesterday, I told Aizay that because of the blizzard "my patients cancelled". He said worriedly, "Aren't they sick?" "No, they are not sick, they are deaf. They come to see me so I can learn more about how their ears work." My response was followed by much distress and anxiety. I thought he just didn't understand. Again I said something like "my patients are deaf, not sick".

"But they're death?"

Apparently Aizay thought that my patients would experience death if I didn't see them. Or perhaps he thought our research project studies how zombies hear...

I did finally get Aizay to understand what deaf means. I told him that deaf people have ears that don't work the way ours do and that they can hear very little or not at all.


Sunday, December 06, 2009

Tuesday, December 01, 2009


We're waiting for Mama outside Hoover Elementary after a huge screw up over rides and cars and what not. All better now, but it kinda sucked. Aizay is shown here basking in the warm glow of the Hoover sign.
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Saturday, November 21, 2009

Just a little poop story.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Coraline.  She loved to be forgo clothing (I'm trying to prevent this story from attracting unsavory Internet types, here).  If no-one was looking, she would remove her vestments and run around the house au naturale.  This has resulted in the poorly sealed floors of their home being impregnated with urine in a number of spots, a fact which their parents don't plan on advertising to prospective homebuyers someday.

One day, Coraline was, as usual, running around in her birthday suit.  Suddenly, she decided she had to go, and it wasn't pee this time.  Now Coraline, having a fastidious nature uncoupled from actual fastidious habits, could have used the potty right next to her, but...well, she's working on that.  Instead, she put on a pullup, did her business, and then removed it.  All without telling her parents.  She continued to play.

Her mother discovered a poop-filled diaper on the floor of the playroom, very close to the proper poop receptacle. The end.  We're leaving off the cleaning details, because you can imagine.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

He burns at the center of time...

...but luckily they have a cream for that now.

Who's scarier?

Aizay calls this his "Journal of Impossible Things"

Don't blink!

nice sideburns

The doctor's new companion?

Does anyone have any ideas about what is happening in this last photo?

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Coraline's rude and ungrateful guide to trick-or-treating

1. Refuse to wear the Halloween costume your mother sewed for you.
2. Push your brother out of the way as the door opens.
3. Remain completely silent for the duration of the time that the homeowner is present. No pleases and thank yous allowed.
4. Ignore the candy offered and instead grab for the candy bowl.
5. After the door closes, turn around and softly say, "Trick or Treat".
6. Run along the sidewalk toward the next house with your fist in the air, yelling, "MORE CANDY!"


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

He's 904 years old...

...yet he looks younger and younger with each regeneration.
Just in time for Halloween, the doctor's psychic paper says, "John Smith, United States Candy Inspector General".
Doctor, your voice is different (and higher pitched), and yet its arrogance is unchanged.
He is so going to unlock you.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

MMMMmmm. Pizza

Aizay made me a fake pizza with my favorite toppings.
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Monday, October 19, 2009

A little bit of running, a little walking & a whole lot of kvetching

My son completed the Run For the Schools 1 mile run/walk. For the first quarter mile, he ran, for the second quarter he walked fast, for the 3rd quarter he whined and walked slowly and stopped to rest. And finally for the last quarter he got upset because he thought he was going to come in last (behind the handicapped boy)-so he sped up-a little.

Conclusion: he is not a natural athlete.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Happy Birthday Coraline!

Okay, it's two days early, but Christine was making birthday cupcakes for her classmates and decided to go all Martha on it. This is deliciously out of character.
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Sunday, September 27, 2009

Aizay quote:

"My butt is full of mischief."

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Electric balloon hat

I think it should be called a colon hat

Sunday, September 06, 2009


Wonder woman has met her match! Coraline is really the mild-mannered alter ego of wonder woman's archnemesis Dismembra.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Human interest piece

"...and finally tonight: a local 2-year-old surprised everyone when she fell out of a clear blue sky and crash landed into her crib, without even waking up. She wasn't injured, but her parents were shocked when they heard the noise from the next room...."
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Sunday, August 30, 2009

You must buy me a toy or I will be sad...

Aizay also said, "If I was a parent, I would buy my child everything he wants."

There are rules.

Coraline does not like it if you take steak from her plate, even if you ask nicely. She will tell you, "No!". But if you open your mouth like a giant baby bird, she will feed you the exact same piece you asked for before. Them's the rules, like it or lump it.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Sand in the "City"

For the past half hour Coraline has contented herself with throwing sand onto herself.
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Friday, August 28, 2009

My girl

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Saturday, August 22, 2009

A walk in the park

Here we are walking in Hickory Hill Park. We should go for walks more often. Aizay was the glue that kept us all together, coaxing us along if we got too separated or chose the wrong path. Thank god he was there, or we'd still be trapped in those woods.
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Thursday, August 20, 2009


The photo of the Hooverfest fireworks above has been posted in order to celebrate Aizay's enrollment in Hoover Elementary. This school is located in a non-Gaza-like neighborhood and is named after Iowa's finest United States president...The third picture is Aizay trying to "lift himself up" by his shorts. I guess he wanted to show off to his new kindergarten friends.


I like to tell Coraline that she is Gooorgeous (with a velar fricative like in "gyros"). Here is the evidence.

Sunday, August 09, 2009


Aizay insists that he doesn't sleep or dream at night. I asked him if he was just resting his eyes at night and he says, no...
"I keep my eyes open all night so I can see when morning comes."

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Quote of the Week

Aizay: "I think I'll be a singer but I hope I don't have to sing any long songs. That would make me tired."

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Quote of the week (7/15/09)

This blog has been sorely neglected. I have decided to add this weekly feature. Hopefully, I will keep on top of it...

Aizay: My scrotum looks like a brain.

[Bonus guest quote from Aizay's preschool classmate: We're only supposed to talk about sperm at home. (They both recently got "body" books and they were comparing the content.)]

Monday, July 13, 2009

Coraline at the hospital

Aizay was worried about Coraline... Coraline was pretty happy the whole time (but tired).
The crib was so uncomfortable that she preferred the floor.
And the room was filthy...
There was a stack of about 12 washcloths on a shelf in the room. My children had a ball pretending they were cleaning and ended up using the whole pile.

Update: Coraline is still croupy and she has a little gunk in her lungs. She has partially lost her voice. She is whispering a lot. She is back at daycare today. Apparently she has a relatively narrow trachea (still WNL, just on that end of the spectrum). I have now caught whatever bug Coraline has but because my trachea is not so narrow, I can breathe okay. I just feel like dung...